Holiday Stress, Depression and Dysfunction!

Most of us love the holiday but it can bring on a great deal of stress, depression and anxiety for some of us. Getting together with family should be something we look forward to right? Some would disagree. Do you have a family member you just can’t stand to be around? Or someone you have unresolved issues.  Do you have a dysfunctional family? Are you expected to buy gifts for all of your relatives?

Do you have to travel to get to your family? All these things are typical and more importantly most of us have some type of stress during the holidays.  I’ve put together some tips for coping hopefully you can apply one or two of them to your holiday and make it a little less stressful for yourself.

1.     Do your best to stick to a budget. Money or the lack of it can be very stressful and it at the top of the list for a reason. Drawing names in a large or even a small family can help. Setting a limit on the amount of the gift can also help. Make homemade or baked gifts. If you have a family member who is in charge! Most of us do, ask them for some help. They can set the tone for the party and change things up because chance are you are not the only one that is broke this year. 

2.     You can’t pick your family member but do your best to resolve any conflicts prior to the family Christmas party and if someone owes you money don’t pick the family party to confront them about paying you back.  If you can not do these things maybe choosing to spend Christmas with friends instead of family might be wiser and less stressful.

3.     If your family is far away and your feeling anxious about not having the money to travel during the holiday, just don’t… take that pressure off yourself by visiting your family via video chat, pictures, email or some other form of communication. Instead pick a less traveled time to visit loved one that is less expensive.

4.     If you and your better half have a hard time deciding just who’s family you will be spending time with try to even things out. By doing this routinely you will avoid this very common conflict. Choose to spend Thanksgiving with one and Christmas with the other.  Or alternate each year with each side of the family. I know this sounds so simple but some of us have a hard time expressing ourselves and go year after year doing what your hubby or wife want to do. Express yourself and you will feel better.

5.     Learn to say “NO” taking on too much in such a small amount of time can make you crazy! Too many Christmas parties, too many luncheons, charity dinners. Limit yourself and your outings you will thank yourself in January.

6.     Remember to be realistic about the holidays don’t expect it to be perfect. 

7.     Last of not least take some time for yourself during this very busy time. Reduce your stress by taking a walk, take a long bath, go for a swim, go to the gym, go bird watching, count the stars, just do something you enjoy and take a minute to reflect. RELAX and enjoy the holiday.

We all have different types of stress and anxiety we deal with just remember you are not alone. If you are unable to cope and need help, don’t be ashamed because we all need a little help from time to time. I’ve put a link and national Hotline below for help if needed.

Thank you for visiting my blog, I would love to hear your comments or suggestions. Follow along by email or RSS feed.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1 800-273-TALK

FOR A LIST OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF CRISIS GO TO:

www.allaboutcounseling.com

Merry Christmas

Roxy

World Suicide Prevention Day… Are you aware?

September 10^th is World Suicide Prevention Day, which is part of the Suicide Prevention Week. Write “love” on your wrist or wear something yellow to show your support for those who struggle with suicidal thoughts or have attempted or succeeded in taking their own life. Nearly 300 people on average commit suicide daily and one million per year. Suicide Prevention day started in 2003 hoping to increase awareness we can reduce these staggering numbers of premature deaths.

If not the toughest, suicide is one of the hardest and most tragic situations for any family or community to manage. What makes it especially tragic is the mental health professionals know it’s preventable.

That certain psychotherapy and medications can be effective in prevention. Improving education and spreading information about suicide and awareness is also key to prevention.

If you know someone who is suffering from depression or someone who is in pain please help them get help. Call your doctor, mental health clinic or suicide hotline. 

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

1-800 273-TALK (8255)

Lighting of the Lantern Memorial Day Celebration

This annual event is celebrated by people traveling to Hawaii from all parts of the world as well as thousands of locals. The celebration is surreal and emotional as thousands gather at  Ala Moana Beach Park. for the 14th annual lighting of the lanterns a spectacular event. It’s a time to remember, share and pray for our loved one who have passed lighting a lantern in their memory and letting it float off in the sunset. 

A beautiful ceremony! 

Chicken Soup Cure! Recipe Included!

We all know chicken soup is the best feel good soup you can have when you are sick with a cold and even when your flu symptoms are on the mend the broth is oh sooo good! Yes it’s still the gold standard for soothing inflammation and making you feel better. I thought I’d share with you a recipe from my pantry it’s a great chicken soup and family favorite. 

• Roasted  Small Chicken deboned, cut into 1” pieces. Costco Roasted chickens are great for this.
• Celery 4 stalks chopped very small
• Carrots 3 chopped into small rounds
• Onion I like to use a Yellow onion but you can use White or red too (diced)
• Garlic 1 glove cut into small piece or crushed
• 6oz of sliced or chopped fresh mushrooms
• One large can of chicken broth and equal amount of water
• Use about 9 oz of your favorite noodles or pasta of your choice
• Salt and pepper to taste, you can also use your favorite herbs to season this soup, dill weed, thyme, rosemary are great choices that will add lots of flavor

You can cook this on top of the stove in a big pot OR what I like to do is add all ingredients in my crook pot turn it on High for 4 to 5 hours and walk away. But you’ll want to add the noodles in the last hour of cooking in the crook pot. They swell if you over cook and you don’t want that.

If you cook onto of stove you’ll want to heat your pan with some olive oil and add your onion, carrots, celery sauté them until they are softened about 10 mins stirring so they don’t stick or burn add our chicken mushrooms broth and water and simmer for about an hour, add your noodles the last 10 mins and season to taste.. get creative with herbs like dill weed, thyme, rosemary or whatever you like, it’s all good!

** alternative to noodles or pasta is Wild Rice (Yummy good too)


I hope you enjoy this family favorite! Thanks for stopping by.


Roxy

Are YOU to OLD for College? Are you willing to Pay for it into your Golden Years!

I was contemplating going back to college even at my age, I know REALLY! Most anyone would agree you can never be too educated, right? There’s always more to learn and I have a great thirst for knowledge.  Love to read, write so I thought I’d take up creative writing get some skills I am clearly lacking, you know the small stuff like proper English. I looked into some schools that offer creative writing for entertainment… OUCH the cost is insanely high. Are they freaking crazy and this was an online Bachelor’s program “Creative Writing for Entertainment Bachelors of Fine Arts”. The idea of doing this would be incredible and so much fun. But the wind in my sails were quickly depleted by the cost of $58,500 for the 3.3 years it would take to complete.  An online program so why isn’t it less expensive, no classroom, no books, I don’t get it! I would think it could be less expensive.  But no such luck!

I talk with young adults who have student loan debt all the time and I know the agony they are put through trying to pay back these education expenses and the many years it takes. Most young people don’t even have a concept of how much money this is and yet they are allowed to take on this debt. Many ruin their credit in the process. The estimated salary for my choice above once I graduate is $28,070 – $105,710, the upper end of that would be if I hit the lotto of writing jobs. Is it worth the cost, not in my world?  

It’s been a long time since I’ve looked into the real cost of college, I checked out some local community colleges too, less expensive but they didn’t offer the same course study as the one above and not nearly as exciting, I can see the draw for people to take on the debt. If I wasn’t facing retirement in 10 years I probably would too! Education should be FREE or on a sliding scale.There might be more smart people in this wonderful country… just sayin

 

For me I’ll have to continue on, making my grammar and English mistakes with the best of them and hope to just enjoy the fact I have the ability to write what I want, when I want in a free country.

Thank you for stopping by my blog, your comments and ideas are welcomed and encouraged. Come back soon and don’t forget to follow my blog by clicking on the follow button on the left.

Roxy

Is Your Kid Jumping Out of Airplanes?

As a parent you do your best to protect your kids against anything really that might hurt them.

You advise them against the perils of driving, dating, drinking taking drugs as they grow into adults you help them through marriage with advice from time to time. You never really stop worrying about them! Do you ever think you have to tell your grown adult child not to jump out of a perfect good running airplane?

My son Ryan text me a picture of himself jumping out of a plane, OMG… well I knew he had made it, right or I wouldn’t be getting a text from him. I wasn’t even upset really, surprised for sure, I mean it’s his life and I know he is pretty adventurous, but skydiving? Really!

Have any of you seen that citi commercial of the young girl rock climbing in the desert to the top of a rock tip, couple days before my own surprise, I told my husband I was so glad I wasn’t her mom! 

Silly me!

What would you do if your son/daughter sent you a picture at 10,000 ft?

The joy of being a parent no matter how old your children are it's a blast and I wouldn't change anything.

I love, that my son is enjoying his life and has the freedom to do what he wants to do. Even though it's a little scary for mom....maybe I'll find the courage to go with him if he goes again.

I am really curious and would love to hear your comments and opinions.  

Thank you for stopping by my blog, please follow for future posts. 

Roxy

Ever Been Burned by your BFF?

If you're over ten you've probably been burned once or twice already! Why is it so hard to find a good solid friend? Doesn't matter how old you are it doesn't get any easier as you get older finding a BFF is hard. If you’re one of the lucky ones that grow up with someone as a BFF count yourself blessed! You are a rare bird indeed. I am not sure why people think they need to lie, cheat, and even steal from you and then call themselves your friend and sometimes your family. Yeah family! I won't even go there! It’s just gets to deep... it's no wonder I am a loner. I think it's important to find a friend in yourself too. I too have been burned many times. I try to keep myself protected from it but you can never tell when a situation will come up and BAM there it is;

I spoke to a young lady recently who was going through a rough patch trying to find a place to live for herself and her mom. They had been living with a friend they were all roomies and well the shit hit the fan, things fell apart and they had to move. She was very depressed and disappointed at the loss of this BFF and couldn't come to terms with the pain of what her BFF had done. Her BFF had stole her identity, her credit, right from under her nose all the while living together and being her BFF .. She was a mess. 

All I could do was try to console her and help her find a new home and help her clean up her credit. Unfortunately I can’t even warn you about something like this because you would never expect a friend could do this??? A friend wouldn’t ..my point! Where have all the friends gone?

I could go on and tell you many stories about friends burning friends, people lying to one another just for the sake of storytelling but you don't want to hear it do you? Sometimes it makes no sense. 

If you have a story about a BFF that burned you or someone you know share your story with us!

Thank you for stopping by my blog, your comments and ideas are always welcome.

Roxy 

Do You Give Your Love Freely? Does your child?

Do you give your love openly and freely? Do you express your love often? Because if you do I bet your child does too! Children repeat what they see. Good and bad. We know they will pick up our bad habits but the least we can do is give them good ones too right? As a parent there is nothing more rewarding than the love we get from our children or grandchildren, children give so freely. My grandson Brody is a good example just yesterday as I was leaving his house he yelled out the window “bye grandma I love you” stopped me in my tracks I looked back and yelled back “love you too Brody”

It got me thinking how lucky we are, our family I mean that our love is expressed like this often, but it still stopped me in my tracks because it still surprises and makes me smile.  My husband has made a life time of efforts to make sure our family loves openly with hugs, kisses and expressions of love. He showers the boys even our son who is 28 with hugs and kisses when he arrives and leaves. No hand shakes in our family! 

My point is not to tell you about our family but to express how important it is to love each other and more importantly to express it. To let that special person know how much you love them. Don’t be afraid to tell them how much you care about them. Kisses and hugs go a long way in loving someone! The reason I talk about children is because if you raise a child with affection and love he/she will grow up to be a loving and caring person who will be comfortable giving that same kind of love to someone else. I know it sounds so simple but many people have a hard time expressing love. 

So while you are having your Easter get together with family and friends this weekend try to express your love to someone special, maybe it’s your grandma or your mother or auntie.. or someone you wouldn’t normally hug, kiss or tell them you love them. Just do it and see the smile on their face and the happiness it brings them.

You decide if it was worth the small risk to go outside your comfort zone, if that’s what you did… for some of you it won’t be a big deal but for some it will be a huge step.

Either way just give it a try and come back and tell me how it made you and your special someone feel.

 

Have a safe and Happy Easter.

God Bless you and your family!

Parenting is hard enough so don’t fill your kids head with bullshit!

Remembering asking your parents ALL those questions, I do. I must have drove my dad freaking crazy but he always answered them with the honest truth no matter what the question and no matter what my age was or how inappropriate the rest of the world thought his answers might be.. Believe me I was a well educated 10 year old. As a kid I knew who to go to if I wanted the real truth. No candy coating, no sugar just cold facts and straight talk. I think my dad had something however that worked.  I think the opposite is a great mistake that is to put a child off with falsehoods and nonsense just because the question is difficult or embarrassing to answer.  When a child is young and their growing keen sense of observation is at its peak during the very early years of life this is the time to educate your child about life.  

But let’s be real here I am not talking about a telling a 4 year old about the bird and the bees unless of course he/she is asking. I am just saying when a four year old asks where do babies come from, just keep it simple, tell  the truth and not "babies get delivered by a stork"  You don’t have to go into detail unless of course the questions continue as they often do with 4 year olds.  My point is keep it real, simple but most importantly keep it truthful and honest. Please don’t be one of those parents or grandparents that tells your kid a long tale and by tale I mean falsehood. Kids remember this crap and for years go on believing it’s real because a trusted person in their life told them so. Be responsible when telling your stories make sure those little minds know the ones that are fiction and non-fiction.

Do you have a story about your childhood or falsehood someone told you that you believed to be true and later found out it to be false.. Not Santa! We all had that one….

Tell us about it, we would all love to hear about it.

Thank you for stopping by my blog today, please follow along by adding your name to the follow list on the left side of this blog.  

Me with dad and teacher... sure miss him.

Remember it's their job to be annoying!

Teenagers if you have one my heart goes out to you, if you are one be brave you will get through these tremulous years and your teenage years will help prepare you for life as an adult because life is not all peaches and cream.

Parents; remember even though you’d like to strangle your teenager from time to time and they are constantly pushing you away and they would rather keep the company of a venomous snake than you. Don’t be fooled it’s all about hanging on and being there at all the right times.  The signs will be shuttle in most cases so pay attention through this bumpy ride. Remember it’s their job to be annoying, sarcastic and rebellious they are finding their independence and most likely going through hell socially.

If you have a teenager or you are a teenager tell us about a problem or dilemma. Let us know if you need advice or how you have handle you situation on your own.

Thank you for stopping by my blog I welcome and encourage your comments. I need your help to ensure this blog is successful. Please follow my blog too!

Life is Full of Discovery and Passion

It's fitting that I should start a new blog on April Fool's Day. A good day I think! Because it is a fool who tries to go it alone without the help of others. This blog is about helping, advising, consulting and getting things off our chests. More importantly helping each other out. So my advice blog begins....on this 1st day of April 2012.


Life is full of adventure if one is willing to take the steps of discovery. Knowing what is in your heart and finding your true passion will make you very happy indeed. But are you daring enough to find the passion that is within you? Will you take the risks? What will they be?

If you are lucky enough know yourself, love yourself then share your passion with us!

If you are still on your journey of discovery tell us where you have been and what you hope to find. 


Your insight and comments are always welcome so please join in and thank you in advance for stopping by.